March 4, 2013

What Makes a Zombie Happy?

Graaahh... Mmmmrrrr... Braaaiinss...

These are typical zombie words. Little thought needed, focused. Zombies are wandering, mindless creatures, right? Not in my mom's house. In her house, Zombies make poetry. They make music and gourmet cuisine, too. Zombies have taken over the fridge, and they're not just using it to store body parts. The Zombies have become part of the family.

It all started with Mom's strange obsession. She's crazy about Zombies: books, movies, anything involving the living dead - she's there. Now, Sunday nights in her house involve snacks and The Walking Dead.

Last summer, I found a Magnetic Poetry kit (Zombie edition, of course) and thought it was the perfect gift for Mom. I was right. She couldn't wait to split apart the magnetic carnage and rotting flesh and arrange it on the front of her fridge. She even printed out the names of family and friends to include in the corpse-tales.



On her birthday last year, Mom opened the fridge to find this cake:


The zombies went all out for her birthday, too. They even left a few chocolate body parts as mementos, and stopped to arrange her a poem.


Soon, more magnetic poetry kits (Rock'N'Roll and Foodie editions) found their way to the fridge door, and made for some amusing combinations:


One left information for the organic-diet zombies:



Some came with words of warning, but as zombies are easily distracted, the warnings gave way to other matters:


Zombies have also demonstrated their fine culinary skills in our kitchen. Who doesn't love a good groupie-blood-chorizo?



And the most recent midnight find (because zombie poets only come out at midnight):


And there you have it folks. Zombie happiness is never having to say, you are almost prosciutto.

Can you beat the Zombies in their fine works of art?
Here's a random sampling of the words on the fridge:
(You can also use any of the words in the photos above.)

The
Salmon
In
Bar
Shotgun
Scream
On
Said
Her
Crowd
Live
His
House
Rip
Infect
Robust
And
Stumble
Pale
Bread
Soon
A
Metal
Smoke
Plum
Are
Outrun
Lemon
Artist
Leg
Zombie
Corpse
Apocalypse
Chick
Crank
Sauce
Kill
Like
Record
Which
From
Fire
Headshot
Warm
Earth
Spread
Drink
Brain
Explode
Pesto
Heavy
Guitar
Fast
Free
Come
Aroma
This
Are
Vegetable
Grotesque

Happy writ-- BRAINS...

Magnetic Poetry is a registered trademark and in no way affiliated with this post.
This is purely for entertainment. Zombie lovers unite.

February 27, 2013

Jen's Mind-Bending Facts About Dreams

For those of you who write, or read, or have ever been inspired by anything, check out my friend Jen's blog: Between Asleep and Awake. Her latest post describes the inspiration for her blog title.


I dream vividly. Always have. I can remember dreams I had when I was seven or eight: beautiful visions of soaring over fields of lavender. Though, sometimes I remember dreams I want to forget: images of burning buildings, cars on fire, chaos and crumbling stairwells. I never could understand how I was able to retain dreams the way I do. I remember the colors, smells, and sounds. So much that upon waking, I occasionally forget my surroundings for a moment and taste the ocean I swam in during my dream, or feel the bark of a tree beneath my fingertips. I've advised people not to wake me, since sometimes I forget I'm dreaming and can throw a punch or two before my eyes are even open. (There are some who have seen this first hand and can swear by their bruises.) But once in a while, a dream has only the suggestion of an event, and that allows me to embellish in a story or poem. After all, what are stories but waking dreams?

February 17, 2013

What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Seen?

Musical Farm Animals
Is it a band of farm animals singing above your produce section? Could it be a house with unique siding? How about a duck-shaped duck shop? Stranger still?

If you have a taste for the bizarre, are entranced by weird roadside structures, or look for the oddball objects hidden in everyday life, then check out my new co-authored website Roadsight Relics, where you can find bizarre sights on the open road and spaces in between.

At Roadsight Relics we embrace the weird. Our purpose is to sniff out and track down the most bizarre and under-appreciated places America has to offer. Nothing is off-limits. Not even wind sculptures depicting flying cacti. We find it. Post it. And share our wacky adventures with the world. Stop by to get strange. You won't regret it.

Know of a Roadsight Relic near your town? We invite you to contact us.